The Life Between the Good Moments

Sometimes healing begins when you stop asking whether the good moments were real.

And start asking whether they were enough.

For a long time, I thought the question was:

“Did they love me?”

Because there were moments that felt loving.

Moments that felt safe.

Moments that felt like everything I had been hoping for.

I held onto those moments for years.

Measured the relationship by them.

Returned to them whenever the loneliness, confusion, or hurt became too difficult to carry.

But healing changed the question.

The question stopped being:

“Did those moments happen?”

And became:

“What was my life like between them?”

Was I at peace?

Did I feel safe?

Could I be myself?

Was I constantly waiting for things to get better again?

Because a relationship isn’t built from its brightest moments.

It’s built from the life you live in between them.

Reconnection begins when you stop chasing the version of the relationship that appeared once in a while.

And start building a life that doesn’t require you to wait for brief moments of relief to feel okay.

The good moments can be real.

The love can be real.

The hope can be real.

And still not be enough.

Sometimes healing is simply giving yourself permission to need more than moments.

— Tawnia Lives